Lost in Translation, Asking for Too Much
by asunnytuesday
Summary: A Modern AU Captain Swan, Killian wants more, Emma is afraid. Killian walks out, and now Emma is alone. Maybe they're just meant to be lost in translation.


_lost in translation, asking for too much_, an au captain swan fan fiction. This was indeed heavily inspired by Taylor Swift's "All Too Well", which is where the title came from. Just a one shot of angst and fluff.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters. I'm just having some fun writing some angst, 'cause why not.

-KJ

It was the anniversary of the first day they met. October 31, 2012. Emma thought back to the fateful Halloween party that brought them together, the pirate and the thief, she wondered if he was thinking about it too.

She had to admit it, Regina could throw a good party, the place was full of people, some friends she knew, she'd seen many around campus.

"Emma!" She turned at the sound of Ruby's voice, or rather, a promiscuously dressed little Red Riding Hood, not that she was going to judge, Ruby could do what she wanted. "I'm so happy you made it! I love your medieval Robin Hood-esque thing, you look really hot. Though I'm not sure Robin is going to love it, 'cause he's also dressed like Robin Hood," the brunette whispered conspiratorially.

"Don't worry, we already discussed this, I'm one of his merry men. It's Regina approved and everything."

Ruby laughed at this, "I'm glad to hear you didn't piss off the Queen, but c'mon, I wanna find the Charmings."

The search didn't take long, Mary Margaret Blanchard, or Snow White as she was dressed that night, stood with her boyfriend, Emma's brother David Nolan, dressed as Prince Charming. The pair had been together since high school and everyone knew they were going to stay that way. Regina Mills, dressed aptly as the Queen, stood with her boyfriend Robin Sherwood, but there was also a body that Emma was unfamiliar with.

"Hey it's one of my merry men and Little Red!" Robin announced the arrival of the two girls and the customary 'I'm so glad you made it!' 'You look great!' and 'Happy Halloween!' was shared.

"Emma, Ruby, I want you to meet Killian Jones, a history major with a special focus in piracy, he lives across from Robin and me with Will Scarlet." The costume now made sense, he was Captain Hook.

"It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance Ms Nolan," his blue eyes looked dangerous and full of life as he took everyone by surprise by taking Emma's outstretched hand and bringing it to his lips. "The same to you, Ms..."

"Lucas," Ruby answered, practically purring back at him as he kissed her hand.

'Oh brother,' Emma thought to herself, 'Who does this guy think he his anyway, he's not even that attractive. Okay that's lie, he's beautiful, and somehow is rocking those leather pants.' She started to examine him again, until he made eye contact and she hastily looked away. 'Emma, you must pull yourself together, he's just looking for quick hook up, and you don't need any guy trying to come a mess with the progress you've made.'

"Um, I'll be right back, I'm gonna go get something to drink, Regina, where can I find that?" The Queen pointed to the kitchen of her spacious apartment and Emma started on her way.

"Er, lass! I'll get ya a drink," Killian said, almost nervously.

"I've got it, thanks," she didn't even turn to look at him, yet magically he appeared by her side and walked with her to the kitchen. "You're still here?" Emma only glanced as she began to mix her drink.

"Someone's in a not party mood, sorry love, just wanted to talk. You interest me." Usually Emma's eye would have already started to roll, but it didn't feel like a line, Killian looked earnest. This intimacy threw the blonde off her game; the pirate had gotten closer to her, looking almost hurt.

"I'm sorry, that-that was rude of me, I, uh, wasn't even sure if I was going to show up tonight. It's been a rough couple of months. It's nice to meet you though." Emma quickly took her drink and left Killian standing the kitchen of the Halloween party.

'That was the right thing to do Emma, don't get involved, don't get hurt,' or at least that's what she tried to convince herself of.

The night progressed well. There was some dancing, primarily tipsy to heavy bass, Ruby dragged Emma, Mary Margaret, and Regina for some of that tipsy dancing, and there were no further interactions with Killian. And that was a good thing, well, not really actually because Emma kept thinking about Killian and his intense stare, his kiss on her hand, his leather pants, just all of him. 'Why do I even want his attention? No, I don't want his stupid attention. I'm a strong, independent woman and I don't need his attention.'

"May I cut in?" Killian walked to the group of girls and looked right at her. The rest of her friends were more than happy to oblige, sharing knowing smirks between each other.

So they danced. To her surprise he was good. But then again, so was she. They were attracting each other, getting closer- the thief and the pirate.

By the end of the night, the two of them had found a corner. Maybe Emma wanted his attention.

From then on, it was Emma and Killian, the two that understood each other, two orphans that thought love was no longer an option, the two that found the option of love in one another.

But Emma knew that it was over.

He would never come back, he was too tired to fight for her anymore. He promised her he would never abandon her like Neal did and he kept his promise.

He didn't take off in the middle of the night, he left in a fight- their worst fight. He wanted to marry her. She told him no. He asked why and she said, "You know why Killian. I can't do this. I'm not what you want. This is too soon, you think you love me now, but who's to say you will later?"

"How could you know what I want Emma? I've told you, it's you. You're my happy ending and I want to be yours!" He was growing angry, and rightly so. She was pushing him away, she knew exactly what she was doing. Her fear of commitment crept in. She loved him truly, but not enough to accept what she only saw as another future failure.

The angry turned to fury and the tense language soon turned to yells of "I'm not Neal!" and "This won't work Killian!"

"But I love you!" It was his last desperate attempt to their relationship from falling apart and the defeated look in Emma's watered eyes revealed, "I love you..." and his voice grew weaker and cracked, "but it's not enough Emma. Our love...isn't enough."

Her tears fell as she nodded. She couldn't even look him in the eye as he stormed out of their apartment curtly, slamming the door as she crumbled to the ground, sobbing, heaving, and alone.

She was still alone. On today of all days, she was still alone. In her dreams she still heard his last words, echoing, taunting, a continual reminder of what she gave up. She hasn't dated anyone since they broke up six months ago. He has. She's seen him around, he looks happy. Well, mostly, he looks...content...satisfied. She still looks defeated.

She knows she wants him back. She knows that she made the worst mistake of her life and that she doesn't deserve him back. Ruby told her. So did David and Mary Margaret. Regina and Robin gave her hell.

Everyone knows that neither Killian nor Emma will ever be themselves without one another.

Robin and David told her that he's wearing a facade. He's still a mess. She doesn't care. At least he's done something to pull his life back together. She can't interfere with his reconstruction, she knows he's been through enough.

They were together for two and a half wonderful years. They graduated together, moved in together in an apartment in Boston, he became a history teacher, she started law school. They had friends and they went to bars. They were happy. That was six months ago. She's not happy anymore. She hopes he is. She knows he's not.

She considers calling him. She been sitting on her bed, what was once their bed, curled up in blankets, staring at her phone. Her hands slowly starts to reach for the phone, then recoils. She can't go back and try to reconcile with him. He won't take her back. It's too late and there's too much pain. No hope left.

"Everyone needs hope Emma." She can practically hear Mary Margaret say that too her now. But it's too late for hope. Hope walked out of the door the same day Killian did for last time.

It was getting late, after eleven, and Emma needed to sleep. She'd been crying on and off all day and it was time to let it go. He wasn't coming back.

She laid her head down and started to drift off, until she was startled back awake at the sound of someone knocking at her apartment. 'Who needs me at 11:30?!' She started to mutter to her in a grumbly manner as she made her way to the door, opening it with sleepy eyes.

There he was.

She wiped her eyes, and felt her heart race, pounding with a fury.

"Emma, I- er, I don't quite know what I'm doing here right now. But I wanted to see you. I know you don't want to see me but I couldn't stop thinking about...us and I've been wandering Boston trying to figure out my feelings and what went wrong. I know it's been six months but...would you like to talk?" He was rambling, he only rambled when he was nervous. She was nervous too. But he was here.

"Um, yeah, of course, come on in. Do you want anything to drink? I still have some rum up in the cupboard I think." She opened the door wider and ushered him in. The tension rested in the room, thick and unspoken as they stood in the cramped kitchen, divided by the bar.

"No thank you, I'd rather have a clear head right now."

"That's fair," they both chuckled nervously, neither wanting to overstep their bounds. "So, you wanted to talk?"

"Yes, Emma," he began, very unsure of himself, "I-I pushed you too far when I asked you to marry me. I should have known we weren't ready, we hadn't really discussed it, I'm sorry."

"No! Don't be sorry, I reacted so poorly," the words started poring out of her and she couldn't say them fast enough, "I let my walls keep you out, and that was wrong. I should have trusted you, I know wouldn't have hurt me like Neal did. I love-loved you," they both stopped breathing, looked at each other in fear and the slightest glimmer of hope.

Neither said anything for a moment. All that was heard was shallow breathing within the dark apartment. The world outside no longer existed in that long minute. It was just them.

"You still love me Emma?" Kilian's voice was low and tentative.

"I didn't-I didn't say that. I just, I was-I was just saying words. We can't-" Killian moved around the bar toward Emma. "Killian, I can't just come back into your life. You've built yourself up again, I'm still a mess. You're happy. And when you love someone, you do what you need to in order for them to be happy." He was inches from her now, Emma was backed against the refrigerator, her eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips.

"Emma," his voice was barely above a whisper, "you are my happiness. These six months have been void of happiness without you. You are my happy ending, love." And with that, after six long months of waiting, aching, and dreaming, their lips met in a slow fit of passion. Her hands went to his hair, pulling him closer as his hands went to her back. They kissed each other quickly, each kiss becoming more intense and full of love. They missed this. They missed each other.

Emma pulled away from him briefly, "...Killian, marry me."

He looked at her in shock, speechless for a moment, and then said, "Are you sure love?"

Emma smiled up at him, "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

She swore his smile never looked brighter as he whispered, "Yes," on her lips.

They were married seven months later. They never left each other again.


End file.
